Kuala Lumpur - To Tip, Or Not To Tip?

During our trip friends asked if we liked KL?

Now the holiday is over, yes and no. Bear with me. Please read on for this and the subsequent two episodes to find out my thoughts.

I was particularly looking forward to visiting this city. It evokes memories of playing a board game with my family when I was really young, well over half a century ago now. It is a real shame I can’t remember what it was called. If memory serves me correctly I think each player had a model of some mode of transport, much like a boot or top-hat in Monopoly, and you had to, on the throw of a dice, travel around the world stopping at various major cities as you went. For some reason Kuala Lumpur sounded like the most exotic destination in the world to me.

Now, finally, I have arrived. I was like that ten year old all over again, I was mega-excited. I would love to hear from anyone who might remember this game and what it was called. Exotic? The literal translation of Kuala Lumpur is ‘Muddy Confluence.’ Maybe if I had known it as that I may not have thought it so exotic?

First disappointment, and I realise this is a moan from a pampered business class traveller, was the distance from the Airport to the city centre. Is there some sort of legal limit about how far out an airport has to be before it can’t call itself after the city in question, in this case, Kuala Lumpur airport? If there isn’t, there should be! It felt as though the journey was about three times longer than the flight. That’s all I am saying.

Of all the transfers we had experienced to date this was probably the worst. The seats in the taxi, which at one time may have been leather, were now held together by duck-tape more than anything, and, to boot, it stunk of stale tobacco smoke.

I am never sure what the rules are on tipping and to whom you should offer a gratuity? It is a mystery. One rule I do have, though, is that if your vehicle smells of smoke you are not going to receive a tip no matter how friendly you have been. It is one of the most obnoxious smells known to man, well, me at any rate! That and total strangers letting a silent fart out in a lift that lingers for the entire descent or ascent.

Then we arrived at the hotel. If Singapore was bordering on a dodgy place to put blind people this was as far down the line as to be useless. A thoroughly modern construction with state-of-the-art lifts. The welcome we received was friendly enough if a touch clinical. Then you were left on your own to locate the lifts. Once we had found the correct lift, there are several that did not stop at our floor, we soon realised that I would be paralysed by technology.

Touch-screen might be clever for most but for the blind it is one of the dumbest evolutions in recent times. Modern phones are fine as they have a personalised screen-to-speech technology built in. Payment machines in shops, restaurants and bars are by far the worst. If I buy a round, it does happen more frequently than you think, I am flummoxed by a touch-screen. It is fine if I can just tap my card and run but if I can’t I have to let the server have my own PIN. This cannot be right and, along with others, I feel quite exposed that I have to share such important data with total strangers. Whatever happened to the good old fashioned payment machines where the “5” key is tactile?

Note to banks: please rein back on the rollout of these infernal machines or come up with an acceptable alternative for blind people.

Note to government: please outlaw these infernal machines or force banks to come up with an acceptable alternative.

Canterbury Cathedral

“You obviously slept well,” Jane observed as I came to.

“Yeah. I think I did.”

“Thought so. The noise would’ve woken the Dead.
And, you didn’t wake up when I was messing around paying the Dartford toll.”

“Well remembered. I had totally forgotten that. Well done. Could have waited until the morning.”

“It came into my head so I thought I had better pay it straightaway. Couldn’t sleep anyway with the racket going on!”

Churches and cathedrals are not at the top of my list when it comes to shopping for attractions to visit. No idea why, maybe I am terrified of being converted to the forgiveness thing or something. That just wouldn’t do. Canterbury, of course, is different, and I conceded I had to make the pilgrimage. Once again, I bitched about the entrance fee. £34? Holy rip-off! As before, though, English Heritage, 20% discount, and blindness, companion gets in for nothing, came to the rescue.

Slightly disappointing, to me at any rate, was the work going on, meaning the building was partially wrapped with scaffolding. They were replacing some of the masonry. For crying out loud, it is not yet a thousand years old; they don’t build things like they used to! I am not quite so stupid to think that these valuable works cannot be carried out without inconvenience. It is my prerogative, though, like drivers who moan about queuing for roadworks who also moan about the state of the roads. I love running with the fox and hunting with the hounds. Best of both worlds! The huge chunks of dressed stone lying around the place did, however, serve to highlight the enormity of the task.

One terrific aspect of the tour, was the provision of audio devices, which provided a detailed guide to getting around. It was just a shame that the ongoing works meant that some of the displays were not where they were thought to be, especially the tactile model of the cathedral. Following some enquiries it was located in safe storage. These models are becoming useful additions to learn of a building’s construction. Being able to feel my way around a model is just the same as you sighted people looking at it. It enables us to admire it as well!

Of course, the most infamous event, to have taken place in the Cathedral over all the years, was the assassination of Thomas Becket.

Thomas was hacked to death by a gang of thugs who claimed to have been sent by King Henry II. To be honest, the role of Canterbury has not always been a harbinger for dying in one’s bed. A number have met with gruesome ends who, in my opinion, deserve equally as much recognition as dear old Thomas.

There was Simon of Sudbury, dragged from the Tower of London in 1381 and decapitated by eight ungainly strokes of a sword during the Peasants’ Revolt, his head was preserved and currently resides at St Gregory’s Church in Sudbury, Suffolk; then there was Thomas Cranmer, burned at the stake in Oxford during the bloody reign of Queen Mary I; William Laud was imprisoned in the Tower of London, after being sentenced to death, the politicians rather hoped he might do them a favour and die of natural causes as he was so old, He, however, was not so obliging and found himself on Tower Hill in 1645 which, of course, wasn’t for the view, his head was removed from his shoulders.

Those are my highlights. The lady who manned the Thomas memorial was extremely knowledgeable on her subject. I found her to be most engaging which is what you want from history.

Visit Canterbury Cathedral

Parkrun and the Christmas Pudding...

Before Jane and I left out, she was getting ready when, all of a sudden, she said that she reckoned people thought she must look like a Christmas pudding. I disagreed, of course before adding, “But I like Christmas pudding!”

If you have never thought about doing Parkrun before I would urge you to give it a crack. You don’t have to run or jog or walk, you can be a volunteer and every Parkrun needs a myriad of helpers for each event. From The run director to the funnel manager, roles are many and varied.

This week I was a course marshal, taking my position at Point 4. I walked along to my assigned post with the amazing Linda Smith. Incredibly, Linda was volunteering for the one-hundredth time, 98 of which, she informed me as we strolled to our stations, had been in charge of Marshal Point 3 on the course. It is thanks to the thousands of people like Linda that Parkrun takes place at all, and to think it celebrated its 20th anniversary during last week is a tribute to every single person involved, especially the volunteers.

Don’t get me wrong, I would much rather run than volunteer. The dodgy leg, not sure I have mentioned it before, precludes me from running, jogging or walking. Next week, to mark her incredible achievement, Linda is actually going to take part in the event itself. I won’t be there, but I am sure all the volunteers will look after her in the same way she has assisted thousands of participants herself. Good luck, Linda.

I took my role seriously and offered encouragement to all participants. First the runners came through, eating up the ground with every stride, followed by the joggers right through to the end and the walkers.

About three-quarters of the way down the field, I sensed a Christmas pudding coming through. Looks like a Christmas pudding, runs like a Christmas pudding, so it must be a Christmas pudding. What’s more, the Christmas pudding achieved another PB for the Sandringham course. By the end my hands were sore from so much clapping!