This is the second of our scheduled stops in the ABC islands. Just to remind you, we were first in Curacao, not calling at Bonaire during this trip and, here we are, in Aruba. The capital city of this small former Dutch Antilles nation is Oranjestad.

Capital city? It didn’t seem any larger than some well-known English seaside resorts which, in the main, only rate as towns.

I would like to deal with a small aside before we delve into some Aruban facts. It goes like this: I sometimes find the talk and actions of my fellow human beings as baffling as the rudimentary machinations of the universe; it’s not even worth looking at the complex stuff.

On our way back to the ship after a delightful sojourn to a nearby beach, we were waiting in line to go through security when, how can I put this delicately, a lady of advanced mass, maybe about my own age, let the staff have it from both barrels.

She wanted to… no, she demanded to know why the ship was berthed so far from the air-conditioned port terminal building. That wasn’t all, why is there not a bus laid on to transfer passengers from the ship disembarkation point to the building? It was a total disgrace! She had become sweaty and sticky in the searing heat.

A few things here. The searing heat was due to hit 28° at some time during the day, not exactly what you would call sweltering. Of course, humidity can affect comfort and whether one sweats or not. According to my weather app, as reliable a source as I am capable of finding, humidity was expected to hit 67%, not exactly what you might call sultry.

Finally, what about the marathon distance to walk to the cooled atmosphere of the quayside bars and what-have-you? At a guess, I would say it was no further than a thousand steps. I suspect that the only scales this particular lady had an issue with were the bathroom type.

Why, oh why, if you have an aversion to hot and sticky weather, do you book a cruise to the Caribbean? Last time I looked, much of the region is either close to or in the tropics. There’s the clue! Maybe next time, dear, you might get the brochure for the Arctic Circle. Moan over!

Let’s have a look at some facts about this rather pleasant little island. It is only 12.5° north of the equator, approximately 863 miles, allowing for warm to hot weather all year round, most acceptable.

It takes up in the region of 180 square kilometres; for reference purposes, Rutland is 382. Most definitely small, about 32 km long, less than a marathon, by 10 km at its widest point, and has a population of 116,500, 31,700 of which are in Oranjestad, roughly the same as Great Yarmouth.

Can you imagine, the city of Great Yarmouth? Ipswich really would have the ache then as Suffolk would be the only county in East Anglia without a city. Perhaps only clubs from cities should be allowed to play in the Premier League? I have the answer: they could groundshare with Norwich. That should work!

Beaches, Trams and Unexpected Comedy

Really not much to report of our stop in Aruba. Yes, as I mentioned earlier, we spent a late morning into early afternoon on the beach. I found a palm tree with, rather conveniently, a sun lounger thereunder with my name on it. I plugged an audio book into my ear and I was away. Bliss!

Jane went for a dip in the crystal-clear Caribbean. Someone has to do it! I, despite having my eyes closed, probably snoring, guarded the backpack. I did not get to go into the sea as the current would have taken me out of sight of my minder and I might still be bobbing around in the ocean.

Jane did assure me, however, that the sea was truly wonderful, being as warm as a bath, as it was. Not sure how many were taking advantage of Yarmouth’s golden mile on the same day in late January.

Isn’t it strange when you get up from a sleep under a warm sun how your legs feel wobbly, much like you have just taken part in a long run and, for a moment, you are all over the place. It wasn’t long into our 10,000-step return to the quay that things were back to normal.

Just as we were about to enter the secure zone, we spotted a tram, a streetcar, stop with a very long queue. Crikey, that must be popular. Clue: popular is different to good!

“How much?” one of us enquired, we needed to get some cash if they didn’t take cards.
“It’s free,” replied the attendant. “But you’ll have to join the back of the line.”

I couldn’t actually see the other end of the queue, which is not an indication of true length, but Jane agreed it was quite long. We agreed to pop back to our cabin for a freshen up and get a late lunch. I can’t believe how excited we were. Not needing to find an ATM is a right result; we could leave cash to the second of our two-day stay.

Suitably satiated we returned to the tram stop. As we exited the port gates Jane noticed that the queue had diminished, to almost nothing. Things were falling our way. I wondered if this was what lottery winners felt like. The heart was pounding with the thrill.

In time, we took our seats. Just then a couple from the ship, whom we had struck up a friendship with, appeared. By their reaction we could tell that they were disappointed not to get a seat. Notwithstanding that they looked very happy and even took pictures of us. You could just tell how jealous they were. Their names, by the way, Mark and Denita. We later established that she was none other than the half-sister of the Russian president.

Then we were off. The first stop didn’t take long to reach. I think we had nearly travelled the length of a cricket pitch. Some people got off; why hadn’t they walked?

We looked around to shout Denita and Mark to come and join us, we were that close to the terminal, but they were nowhere to be seen. Never mind, their loss, we would tell them all about it later.

Another couple of stops and we had reached our destination. We were in the middle of a shopping mall. No historic cathedrals or forts, no information about famous residents and no facts about Aruban wildlife. Still, it was free.

We got off and wandered over to the superyacht marina and admired these beautiful creatures of the sea. It was time for a slow saunter back to the ship and a glass of wine or three.

Who was sitting in eye view when we got out of the lift onto one of the sundecks? You got it, bloody Denita. Mark was luxuriating in a nearby hot tub. Both had huge glasses of Sauvignon on the go, and unhealthy, if not smug, grins plastered all over their faces. Frankly, who can blame them. Hook, line and sinker came to mind.

“Did you enjoy that?” asked the Russian woman from Shropshire.

“You knew, didn’t you?” said Jane.

Smug grins became roaring laughs.

We have now been back from the West Indies for just over three months now and have remained in quite regular contact with Denita. I think she has only sent the photograph of two intrepid, but happy, adventurers, let’s see now, only twice a week since.

Do you know what, if Russia wants her back, it can damned well have her. I suspect that she will get embroiled in an international diplomatic incident in the not-too-distant future. Mind you, it will probably go unnoticed as there are one or two going on presently.

What about the Tennessee Williams thing, A Streetcar Named Desire. I can assure you there was nothing, whatsoever, desirable about this particular streetcar. Honestly, it is the first time in my life that I have been given something for nothing and feel I was overcharged.

Dancers, Disappointment and Departure

We stayed in Aruba overnight which, to be fair to the hardworking crew, allows them off to let their hair down. Oh, I remember those days. As a reward, we were treated to a local dance group coming on board to entertain us.

Well, where to begin? To start with, dancing is not the greatest entertainment for the blind or visually impaired, but I sat, dutifully, next to my wife as she enjoyed the show. Obviously, I do not wish to be unkind, as the troop is made up of enthusiastic amateurs.

From my perspective the music was, shall we say, repetitive. It went on for 45 minutes which, I am sorry to say, seemed more like three hours. I have to say, I need to rely on the sighted to provide a visual critique, which was provided by my wife, and later backed up by others. This, I feel, is a little cruel, and I won’t name the act for this very reason, but they were compared to children performing in their first ever school show.

They weren’t, of course, primary school age, as demonstrated by the physical attributes on show. Remember, these are not my words as I had no idea what these lady dancers looked like. Shall we say the assets were akin to well-constructed jellies and Jane, for one, feared they were heading towards a wardrobe malfunction at any moment. Alas, for some of the goggling blokes in the audience everything stayed at home. For the record, I do not count myself among the oglers as my goggling days are long behind me now.

When I reflect on the day, tram and dancers, I am afraid that I will never, ever, get the two hours lost to these activities back.

We had planned to go on a longer excursion on the second of our two days here. We hit a cash-machine technical challenge. Having found out the cost of the trip to the nature reserve, and establishing the operator did not accept cards, we went in search of an ATM.

Having observed three or four people in front of us turn around without cash, we still went ahead with our request. No cash today, refer to your bank. We tried four different accounts, all with the same result. The next three hours were spent messaging Barclays, but to no avail. Eventually, it was determined that the cash machine must have been empty and there was nothing that the bank could do about it.

Having lost the will to live, let alone go on an excursion, we headed to the bar and a pint of Broadside, whilst awaiting the sail-away party.

Next week, I am going to feature the most amazing blind man I have ever met. Blindness has come to him very late in life and I had the great honour to catch up with him after the Bespak GEAR 10K, recently run in King’s Lynn, an event I was also lucky enough to compete, I mean take part, in with the most regular of my VI Guides.

Find Out More
Aruba: https://www.aruba.com

White Cane Ratings ©
Oranjestad: very good, very accessible - 🦯 🦯 🦯 🦯 (4)